I win

It is amazing how singularly focused one becomes. In one blink every problem, every single thing I worried about, was gone and replaced by this one thing. Immediately, nothing was more important, nothing higher in priority.

This unfairly applies to other people as well. Suddenly, your crappy job, your parking ticket, your misbehaving children pale in comparison to my problems. Oh, you wrecked your car? I win. You got fired? I still win. Your house burned down and you broke your leg and you got dumped? All in the same day? I’m so sorry to hear that. It is just that…I win.

Even mass shooting and terrorism gets minimum attention. Am I even human anymore?

One of the most disheartening things is that my friends and family don’t want to talk to me about their problems anymore because they know I win. Trust me, I’d love to have their problems. I’d love to think or talk about anything else. I’d love to help them solve their problem.

Sitting in the hot tub with my mom, she reminds me that there is some benefit to having the slate wiped clean in an instant, to know just what your problem is and to have a laser-focused plan to solve it. Others have to juggle many problems, some with no obvious solution. True.

Also, perhaps I won’t be able to be troubled by small stuff down the road when I’m well again. I will literally not be able to be bothered, a phrase I already use frequently. That would be nice.

Are problems relative?

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