You Bitch

Ok, Body, not cool. I thought we were friends. I treat you with kindness and respect (whiskey notwithstanding). I compliment you every single day. I never talk shit. And most importantly, I trusted you. You bitch.

You have a made a terrible, terrible mistake, one that will never be forgotten.

But we can fix this. You need to work at it though. You need to work your ass off. And I’ll work at it too and together we’ll make this right.

If you do this for me, I’ll forgive you for everything. I promise. I’ll give you another chance and we’ll be close friends again. I won’t hold it against you. You just fucked up. Nobody’s perfect. I know that. Just make it up to me.

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